Between the last treatment (a month ago) and the next CT scan, we are in limbo. We don’t know for sure how the treatments worked but, at the same time, we continue to hope and pray that they did.
In the meantime, my Hodgegirl almost feels like her normal self and is trying to make up for lost time with school and activities. Unfortunately for me, it’s like she’s in kindergarten all over again.
If you are a parent of a Pre-K, K, or older child, then you might know (or might have known at some point) what I’m talking about; i.e. the separation anxiety, the constant worry, contacting the teacher, wanting to go on every field trip and activity, making sure a nurse or first-responder is always there, etc. Some may call it obsessive paranoia but if you are indeed a kindergarten parent right now, then it is absolutely normal and your child won’t see anything wrong with it.
Imagine, on the other hand, a mom of a teenage girl behaving this way. As a fellow parent, you may find it excusable (with her situation and all) but teenagers might have a different view. My teen, in particular, was annoyed when I almost didn’t allow her to join her class field trip. In the end, she did go yesterday (with the school nurse at her side) after seeking clearance from the oncologist but not without me entertaining thoughts of having my car follow the bus the whole way.
She laughed at my attempt to GPS track her and frowned at my persistent messages if everything was ok. I’m sure she thinks of me as Stalker Mom! Ironically, I didn’t fuss as much when she was younger. Neither did I fuss over her younger brothers going on their field trips.
So, while I can’t seem to help myself worrying about her, I’m trying to learn to trust that she can take care of herself (given her condition) and that she’s going to be okay. As my youngest son cleverly commented, my song should be “Let It Go.” 😁